“Make me addicted to you” and why this is the wrong way to go
I’ve recently had someone contact me asking me to make him addicted to me. I was piqued! Frankly, I think I lost that “live one”, although I now have my doubts how much of a live one he was, as he didn’t spend a dime on me. No greeting, no tribute, no nothing, just “make me addicted”. Oh, where do I start with this?
Here’s the first reason why this pissed me off: it’s topping from the bottom, and that’s just plain rude. Regulars and fans know that I have few rules, but they are strict. The first and foremost is to mind your manners.
*I’d eat the rude, but they’d like it too much, so I ignore them*
I’m a low-protocol domme, but I expect that you will either read the resources I’ve so lovingly created on my listings or my site *OR* talk to me with a brain in your head first. Politely inquire via email, or set aside time and funds for an intro call. I love intro calls! I’ve had people call me just to tell me they admire my listings, the text, even the Monty Python reference in my main listing! You don’t even have to be a dyed in the wool submissive to deal with me. I’ve taken more than a few switches and “tourists” on vacation. If you are a regular of mine, I can and (sometimes) will spoil you with some extra attention. This is if you do your duty and approach me like an intelligent human. Greet me, ask me how I’m doing, make a suggestion, and I will consider it. But what you definitely do not do is roll up and expect that I will perform for you! I may be young, and I may be new, but I’m not going to put up with bullshit!
Money will come and go. It’s important, it’s pretty much the only way you can serve an online Mistress. And it had better do the former more for me than the latter! But anyway, money *will* come and go. Individual customers certainly will come and go. But interactions can and will mark you forever if you let them. So make it a positive interaction. You can actually learn and grow from your interactions with a Mistress – or you can at least have a happy memory.
What you should do as a caller
Ok, I understand, this is playtime for you. This is the only time some of you have to really relax and let someone else drive. That’s ok. But this does not absolve you of all responsibility for your experience. If you want to become addicted to me, you had better put some work in!
The second reason why the demand pissed me off is that it reeked of entitlement. I don’t know if this is a new thing, like some more established Mistresses have noted, or if I’m just going through a patch of odd callers. But I cannot stand the entitled attitude. Even for argument’s sake, how am I supposed to make that happen? If you are going to become “addicted” to a Mistress, you have to court her – Me! You have to prove your worth, and offer something tangible in service of Me. It’s up to you to open your mind and to come to see the world through My eyes. It’s up to you to grow, to wake up each morning and think of Me. It’s up to you to put Me before your desire to brag about your own submission, how hard you were rinsed, how much money you blew last session….whatever it is. Bragging, demanding, and so on – that’s all you swinging your cock around in my face. I can look at far better ones any time I like by cruising my stables. I don’t need yours.
And that’s the ultimate appeal of a Mistress, isn’t it? She doesn’t need you. That’s my personal appeal – *I* don’t need you. I enjoy you. If I had a tribute each time I said that or wrote it, I’d be happy indeed! But this takes time to permeate through a customer’s brains. Hell, it took me years to realize it myself. I noticed when I got a little “older” (for varying values of the word), I started to get more attention than I did in my 20s. I literally said to myself one day, as I caught myself flirting with a comely boy that “wow, this is really fun, because I’m not chasing him. He’s laying at my feet!” And that’s when I decided I had to acknowledge my inner Mistress.
Ok, back from that tangent! How do you fit into all of this, dear sub? The header says “what you should do as a caller”, so I’ll give you some ideas:
Approach me with a clear head. Know what your’e looking for, and be open to new experiences.
Approach me like a human being, though with a bit more respect than you’d normally give. You don’t have to come up with flowery poetry (hell, if you do, it’ll amuse me!)
Amuse me. Bring something to my life. Bring something to my table to convince me to take the time to break you down and train you.
Read My Writing. Learn something about me. Understand – even a little – about why I appeal to you. I know I’m sexy as hell, so that’ a great start, but understand what’s pulling you in, rather than my boobs and my legs. Those are not forever, but my personality is! Learn the difference.
Don’t expect a sex dispenser because you watched a string of saucy things on X-Tube half an hour ago and like the idea of an anonymous woman reciting that porn back to you. I am not a dixie cup you can pour your expectations into. (I feel like I just said this…but some things bear repeating)
Acquaint yourself with my wishlists and tribute buttons!!
Do some thinking past the span of your own dick – what can you do for me?
Be honest with me.
Don’t fall off the face of the earth for months at a time! How can I train you if you don’t contact me? I’m not about to chase you! (I don’t *need you*, remember?)
This seems like a tall order, especially from someone who was just bragging that she doesn’t need you. But just because I don’t *need* someone doesn’t mean they are disposable. To possess someone, I don’t need to be possessive. But I can and will own and possess the worthy. To truly serve me, and thus to earn my regard (and I do regard dedicated subs highly), you have to understand these paradoxes. They’re not for everybody – and that’s ok. If you’re not up to this, if you want to just blow off steam once in a while, or have a more friendly vibe I’m fine with that – just be honest with me. This is precisely why I don’t have a slave contract, or anything like that, because I take those things seriously and some of you get far too excited at the word “slave” and stop thinking. Even thought I’ve only been at this (professionally) for a little over a year. You all still have to prove yourselves to Me! But that will come in time.
If you want to become “addicted” to me, or even if you want to become dedicated to me, invest time as well as money. Notice I said “become”, note the verb! Look at it’s root, “be”. It’s a state of being, but it denotes action, and long term action at that. When you “become” something, you do not do so overnight. It’s growth, it’s development, it’s process. You can’t email or call once and magically become a dedicated sub. It doesn’t work like that. Have patience, and the pleasure will be great. Or, faff about like the time waster contingent out there and get pissy when Mistresses don’t do all the legwork for you – your move, boys!